Frustration that things are not getting done quickly… what the $&!? I have learned how to create, feel, sense, be aware of, listen to inner guidance, utilize the I AM Presence, being with what is, not fighting nor rejecting sensations, whether body or mind. Yet still things do not happen as I want them! Argh!
“Ask God to resolve this.” So I do. And litte by little things happen. This thing is fixed, yet another pops up. And again. And again. And again. My car is a case in point. Whatever happened to ‘effortless’?
It’s not there. So why not? A friend just sent me a message saying she found a playing card with a joker on it. Ok – so what’s that? I look it up, and find a website with cards related to my birth date. I input and see: all things are possible for me, but only with work. Work work work. That’s exactly what I don’t want!
Uhhh – ok. Why not actually? So I go back into my experiences, and find: laziness. When I was young. When I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, I would borrow a reading book from school and return it the next day (without reading it) to get attention and approval for having read quickly. But then a year or two later I got caught cutting corners somewhere else, and I was so emotionally distraught that I charged up and just did the work. With some exceptions, ever since then. Until about a couple of years ago. When I got tired of doing things just to avoid feeling bad about the alternative.
I thought I had addressed that. And I had. But I had not accepted/felt/recognized that I just did not want to work… Bingo.
Just did just that. I feel much better and clearer now. No longer doing things because of fear nor having desire NOT to work/do things. Sigh. Relief….